IN HONOUR OF THE ROYAL WEDDING 4

 

 WILLIAM AND KATE: THE ZOMBIE CONNECTION

 

 It's funny how those family trees

omit the plantation owner

with the workers who were

slow and shambling

but never tired

 

Or the relative

caught up in that virus scare

which closed a county down

for a month or two

 

Then there was the cousin

who worked for

the British Experimental Rocket Group

with Bernard whatshisname

in the 1950s

and the panic surrounding

those meteor strikes

 

But does any of that explain

the Duchess of Cambridge's

liquid diet?

How hard to chew without teeth

How hard to bite

A Royal hickey will have to do